arisia | An Interesting Discussion Regarding Arisia

An interesting discussion between an Arisia newcomer / observer & someone who dismisses f&sf fandom in total - Weigh In, Have Fun! http://bit.ly/8Wt2d6

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From:

twistpeach.livejournal.com

I think the vitriol level speaks louder about Quackenbush than the reasoning. It does make me wonder what happened to the poor guy that scared and repulsed him so badly. We're right to point out that, for many, Arisia is a vacation: a time to explore, escape, experiment. I've used it as such myself. But Quack is right that moral relativism can blind us to the proper emotional repulsion of bad things.

I've also felt the pressure to accept things I found morally questionable, even hurtful, under the guise of "who are you to question." And I have felt like responding "someone who gives a damn if you treat that person badly, even if they wouldn't object." I've seen WoW eat my friends. I've watched no one care enough to drag them off the computer for fear of "judging them". And I'm with Quack. Screw that cowardice. That's exactly what it is. Cowardice in the guise of acceptance.

I've also enjoyed acting like a slut and roleplaying things that would explode me in ire if anyone were to ask me to live like that. I'm an actress, and I know how to draw a line between a role and me. I also know how shady and dangerous that line can get, even for me. And honestly, that's part of why I play. How else can I explore what doesn't have room in my normal life if not in a special context like art or performance (or con). I'm bigger than what I live. And it ain't always pretty, nice, or fit for the public.

And I've been on the other side of it too. I had a marvelous time playing a Na'vi on a leash led by a marine. But we got some blowback from somebody who saw us tussle and didn't want her kids thinking women should be treated that way. And, while I was disappointed that I couldn't do what I bloody wanted whenever I felt like it, I can't say I blame her. We were in a public lobby, and we didn't have "this is pretend" signage up anywhere. I wouldn't want my little boy having that image burned on his absorbent little brain. Hell, I wouldn't want anyone thinking that was "normal."

I don't want anyone thinking that it was okay to treat me like that without being my trusted acting buddy and having my permission. Because I'd pop you in the mouth if you tried. I don't want to live in a world where I have to pop people in the mouth a lot.

I dunno, guys. I like fantasy as much as the next girl. But I'm disturbed by folks who make it their whole lives. I LIKE IT that things are normal. I like it that we're polite and that there are conventions that protect me. I LIKE having a real life I can escape occasionally. :)

From:

vvalkyri.livejournal.com

OT: that was a marvelous costume. I've still yet to deal with the pictures I took over the weekend, but if they came out well I've probably got a few to send you.

From:

twistpeach.livejournal.com

Goody, I've only been able to find one or two and have none of my own.

This thread reminded me of a parent who approached me and a fellow actor after a children’s show where we had played husband and wife. She asked me how I might explain the difference between a real kiss and a stage kiss to her child.

With a blushing glance at my partner, I explained that onstage, you both know it’s pretend and you’re only telling a story for the people who are watching. Not to be outdone, my partner put in “yeah, in a real kiss, usually only one of you knows that.”

From:

aristabulus.livejournal.com

There's a difference between saying something like...

"these A B C things I see appear to be unhealthy or disturbing, because X Y Z"
and
"your entire community is being dismissed/degraded because I choose to focus on a few bad apples"

It really doesn't matter how valid the point; if you wrap it up in a shit sandwich, no one is gonna eat it. This is the essential problem of Q's presenting-of-position. Also the essential problem of Rosenfield's OP in the link; although he was more eloquent, his piece shows a fundamental bias in how he cherry picked the parts that supported the story for which he was aiming. It's not really a surprise, as journalists have been doing this for decades.... still a rotten tactic.

I agree with the general point that moral relativism can cloud vision (for some people, in some instances)... _HOWEVER_, when Q invokes it within a shit sandwich with the rest of his argument, my impulse rebuttal is "who died and left you the tiara?" A stranger with a snarky handle on the internets is telling me that I'm wrong, as is my entire community? O NOES. Let me go turn my world upside down for this digital prophet!!!

*looks left*
*looks right*

...uh, no.

I readily agree with the general point that fandom is not all peaches and cream, and that there are some specific issues with Arisia regarding "the vibe." (I have heard this from multiple sources, long before the OP link was presented) I have my own list of things about fandom that infuriate me, and I try to not do any of them myself. I don't tend to confront random people about these things, as I can't fix them even if they wanted my help... I simply remove myself from the situation. I will put in the effort to try to help someone closer to me, though, but if they don't want it, there's not a helluva a lot I can do after that. Horse to water, and all.

I'm all for discussion that leads to improvement of things-which-are-lacking... But it must happen within the community; it will not be found on a biased piece with a rabid teal-deer-summoning troll shouting down any opposition.

From:

twistpeach.livejournal.com

I've had plenty of assholes criticize me. I used to plug my ears and refuse to listen to them. I don't feel so insecure now. I'm not reinforcing their assholedom by reflecting for myself upon their criticism.

And I don't blame people too much for using stereotypes. Human beings group things in order to talk about them and understand them. Of course it's never the whole story, but we'd never get anywhere if we had to start with the whole story every time we opened our mouths.

Yeah, not everybody's like this or that. But maybe there's enough truth in the stereotype to acknowledge it and pay attention to it. And I say the asshole's got a point. Maybe we are not loving our fellow fans in the best way by telling them "I'll accept you exactly as you are and never dare to push you to improve your real life."

From:

swashbucklr

There are many people in this world who have a hard time finding fulfillment in their lives, and so they look to things outside their "real" lives in order to get it. For those involved with fandom, they find it in places like Arisia, and in the community that creates and supports it. This is not necessarily a bad thing, as everyone looks for a place where they belong, where they can be the person they want to be, and act the way they want to act. It's why people refer to Pennsic or Arisia as "Home".

The problem is that for most people, fandom can only be one aspect of our lives. The rest of the world, fulfilling or not, has demands it places upon us that we ignore at our peril. But some people would rather not have the real life to deal with, and just escape full-time. The lucky ones are the ones who can make a living at it, but the rest seem off-balance to me, like things are out of sync. I try very hard to balance my nerd needs with what the world expects of me, and I don't try and hide either from one another. I like the feeling of empowerment, of fulfillment, that I get from enjoying my "real life" while also enjoying the high I get from places and events like Arisia.

My life would be a sad thing without both.

From:

thevirtualjim.livejournal.com

"But we got some blowback from somebody who saw us tussle and didn't want her kids thinking women should be treated that way. "

I wonder if she would have felt the same if it was the woman leading the man on the leash and 'tussling'

BTW, that was some great outfits!

From:

twistpeach.livejournal.com

Having seen several documentaries about real women who still face slavery to this day, no doubt the other way around would have been easier to see as fantasy. The real enslavement of women is still prevalent. It isn't fair, but people have a stronger reaction to it because of this fact.

BTW, I actually had this idea myself and suggested it to my acting buddy, who looked rather frightened but willing, which I think says more about how he feels about me than about the idea :)

Thanks for the kudos. It was my first time working with temporary tattoo ink and an airbrush. Next year will be MUCH better. Maybe I'll get to those subtle little stripes on the Na'vi skin.