Arisia needs an attitude adjustment.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

I am sure this will offend many people, and if it does I apologize, but I feel it has to be said.

I am disgusted and appalled at the rudeness and sense of entitlement I encountered from many of this year's staff members. And I am not the only person who noticed this.


An example...
I got up early on Sunday and went down to the staff den, I was there about 15 minutes before it was supposed to open, but the lovely staff den ladies let me in anyway. I told them I needed food so I could take some meds, but I could see they weren't quite ready yet and asked what I could do to help them get stuff put out. They gave me a couple things to do (and a danish so I could take my meds) and I went off to help. At 8:02AM a person walked in, I was just plugging in the kettle to heat water, sie wanted tea so I told hir it would be a few minutes while the water heated that I had just plugged it in. Hir response was very snobbishly "What do you mean the water is not hot yet?" I looked at hir and said well, you weren't here 10 minutes ago to plug it in. You want it faster, then feel free to come in early and help. These ladies were up just as late as the rest of us, they are doing their best." and I walked away.
Sure sie hadn't had hir morning caffiene yet, but that was no excuse to jump all over me because the kettle isn't hot. Sie had a coffee maker in hir room, there was nothing preventing hir from using it. This is just one instance I personally encountered in the den, I witnessed many more acts of rudeness directed at the ladies running the den and other staff members in the den, during my visits there. (I was not den staff, I was just helping out while waiting for the food to be ready.)

In general many staff members were surly, rude, and just basically snappish, many came across with the "I'm staff, I'm better than you" or the I'm staff therefore I'm entitled to [...] ahead of you" attitude.

In my opinion, If you want to be involved in Arisia, and deal with hundreds of fans and random people all weekend and can't keep a pleasant attitude, no matter how stressed you get, or how tired or overworked you are, perhaps you shouldn't be doing that job. It's like any job that involves dealing with the customer, you have to keep it all to yourself so as to not take it out on the unsuspecting and not offend. I was personally offended by many of the attitudes I encountered during the weekend by staff members I did not know and who didn't know me. There are places to let it all out, you shouldn't be snapping and rude to the attendees or they will stop coming and we cant have an Arisia without them.

I have a whole essay/rant about Arisia and it's changing dynamic as of late, How I feel it's strayed from it's original mission to be all inclusive and such, how it's more of a fannish lifestyle and polyamory based con now instead of Science Fiction and Fantasy based as originally intended, and how it really needs to be able to encompass all things equally*, but I will likely not subject people to it.

Personally with the next Arisia being the 20th, I would love to see the theme be "Back to Basics" or "Back to our Roots." But since I am just a lowly staff member, costumer and artist (who BTW has worked at every Arisia in some capacity to the point of never having to purchase a membership to Arisia yet) and really do not want any other responsibility right now, who am I to say what should happen?


*Of the panels offered pre-con, 47 "fannish lifestyle" panels this year and only 12 art, 12 filk, and 8 costume panels is not treating all things equally.

Comments

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

The 20somethings from ten years ago are now the married 30somethings with kids.

Tangentially related: I was very happy that the zigguratlabs party was family-friendly for the first few hours on Friday night. It's great to see people including the kids. This is the next generation of fandom - be cool to them! This was the first Arisia party my twelve-year-old daughter got to go to, and she had a wonderful time, with a special highlight being when a few toddlers brought her a book and asked her to read to them.

[tonysalieri.livejournal.com]

Oh, I don't think there's anything at all wrong about having "family friendly elements" at Arisia. I encourage it. However, in the last three or four years, I've heard random people grumbling about "those damn kinky people, why don't they get a con of their own, I've got kids!" while passing through the halls or browsing in a dealers room. And it wasn't in reguards to anyone behaving or dressing inappropriately at the time it was said.

I think there definitely needs to be a balance between the two, and for the most part, I think the balance has been fairly well maintained, but it's something you have to keep at, certainly.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

"those damn kinky people, why don't they get a con of their own,

Well, there's the Flea! :)

I've got kids!"

See, I don't see those things as mutually exclusive. I'm thoroughly kinky, and I've got a kid. As long as people aren't getting suspended or flogged in public con spaces where kids could just happen upon them, I don't see a problem there.

[tonysalieri.livejournal.com]

Well, there's the Flea! :)

Yeah, but their video room and panel focus is oddly berefit of Sci-Fi and fantasy. ;-)

As long as people aren't getting suspended or flogged in public con spaces where kids could just happen upon them, I don't see a problem there.

Precisely! This particular woman whom I happened to overhear two or three years ago (and I couldn't help BUT overhear, she was being loudly crabby about it) seemed to be offended by the very EXISTENCE of poly and kink at Arisia.

I almost thought about confronting her about it. But it was Sunday, and I was working on four hours of sleep, a head cold, and I imagine that something shiny probably distracted me.

[nippyfrog.livejournal.com]

A lot of the time it's best to just let crabby people be crabby and keep your own spirits up by ignoring ignorant folks. :P

[quietann.livejournal.com]

People get offended by the strangest things. At Arisia 2004, I was sitting with bridgetminerva in the elevator lobby on the "Kink" floor at the PP while she nursed her infant daughter. (She and her family had a room on that floor, in one of the non-kink areas.) Some girl dressed up in tight bondage gear with her nipples *barely* concealed came up to the elevator, looked at B, and loudly commented to her companions how *rude* it was for B to be exposing her breast and nursing in public. B and I were so stunned that neither of us thought of a scathing reply until the girl was gone. Sigh...

[tonysalieri.livejournal.com]

Holy Hell, that's just crazy talk!

People are REALLY weird about breast feeding in public. I don't know why.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

Thinking back on it, the girl may have been offended by B's size (she is not small!), like anyone "that huge" should never bare skin in public!

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

To me, it's not that surprising that at least one person I worked on at Massage Den was exhausted and stressed because this was the second weekend in a row that he'd staffed a con. . . board member at the Flea, div head at Arisia. . .

[archangelbeth]

Heh. I'm pretty much of that opinion, too. (Heck, I made the kid a ribbon cat-o'seven-tails for her to wave around in the open costumery Fast Track time on Monday...) Our almost-8-year-old looks forward SO MUCH to Arisia.

(She also goes to bed relatively early, which makes it even easier to avoid the costumes which would require long, drawn-out explanations that would strain my poor con-exhausted brain. Whew.)

[juniperthewise.livejournal.com]

I brought my 12 year old niece to her first Arisia this year, and I was grateful for the fact that there were panels on polyamory that I could take her to so she could expand her understanding of adult relationships and know more about the variety of options among which she may find a fit. I think the openness of non-mainstream ways of being and relating which can be found in fandom and is apparent at Arisia is refreshing and a gift to those of us who are trying to help raise kids without blinders to the reality of human diversity.

Also, I suspect that some of what may make some of us more mainstream adults feel uncomfortable when it is expressed or apparent near the youngsters in our charge may very well not even register on those youngsters until it's time to talk about it, whatever it is.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

I think it's great that you are exposing your niece to alternative lifestyles. And I have no problems with alternative lifestyles. But Arisia is a Science Fiction convention, not a poly con. And when the Alternative lifestyles panels outnumber the Art, Filk and Costume panels combined, I think that is excessive. There is a place for alternative lifestyles discussions at Arisia, (at any sf/f convention) they just should not be the focus.

[juniperthewise.livejournal.com]

It didn't seem to me that "lifestyle" panels dominated. I'm just curious as to why you see Art, Filk, and Costuming as core SF areas. Do they, to you, outweigh books, movies, TV? I think if you included all the categories that relate to SF in your comparison, you'd see that your thumb is firmly planted on the scales and that SF is well represented. Certainly Boskone covers books better, but that's because Boskone is Boskone and Arisia Arisia. We chose Arisia over Boskone this year in order to get the full panoply of fandom. Next year we may do Boskone instead because our focus may be more on books then. To me, that's the core category as far as SF is concerned, so when I want that I go somewhere other than Arisia. I think it would be pointless to have Arisia and Boskone one month apart if they were identical. They meet different needs.

[liamstliam.livejournal.com]

Hehehe.

You said "dominated."

Hehehe.

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

It didn't seem to me that "lifestyle" panels dominated.

Exactly. "Fannish Lifestyle" is a catchall phrase. That was the category for everything from blogging to raising your family in fandom to, yes, alternative lifetyles.

Personally? I feel that the entire con is Fannish Lifestyle.

And that, if you have to categorize, stuff like filk and costuming would go just as well in a general "fannish lifestyle" track. Ballgowns are pretty, yes. What do they have to do with sf/f? Hell if I know.

I'm just curious as to why you see Art, Filk, and Costuming as core SF areas. Do they, to you, outweigh books, movies, TV?

*nods* I'd argue that books are the most core of the core SF areas. Followed by TV and movies. I'm trying to figure out why they seem so irrelevant to the original poster, and why she thinks filk and costuming outweigh them. If you count actual SF categories like books and other media, the schedule doesn't look so out of balance.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

No, I don't think art, costume and filk outweight books, TV and movies, I just chose those three things because I was particularly aware of how under represented they were at this particular Arisia. I don't know how many literature based panels there were, but I know there were many. I do think that TV and movies are also under represented at Arisia as well. I'm not really into Anime or gaming so I didn't even look at what the options were this year regarding those pieces of the convention. I miss the fact that we are no longer showing films like we used to.

Arisia and Boskone have never been anyplace near close when it comes to programming. Arisia has always had a diverse program track whereas Boskone has always been (at least since it's move out of Boston 20+ years ago) very literary and hard science focused. Yes, they do meet different needs. But Arisia and the Fetish Flea are also two very different things as well and often only a week apart. So why do we need to cater to that particular piece of the community more than any other?

My point is *not* that we should get rid of the alternative lifestyles track of programming, but that we should look more toward balancing programming and including things that are more focused toward the genre of Science Fiction and Fantasy which is what the convention is supposed to be about in the first place.

[liamstliam.livejournal.com]

See, I think for that some people it *is* a polycon within a science fictiopn convention.

Not a judgment, an observation.

PS: Anyone reading my comments on anything. I was not there this year. I have been for several years before.

We just had too many events SCA and sci-fi cons and had to cut something. I will say that the setup of the Arisia hotel -- including the elevators -- and the fact that a friend will be the filk guest at Boskone had something to do with which one we chose.

I will also say that within minutes of saying we couldn't come, someone pointed out we could have our volunteer comps from last year moved to next year. (Similar thing happened with Intercon).

[tehuti.livejournal.com]

Alternative lifestyle panels did not outnumber art, filk and costume combined. In fact, alt panels didn't outnumber any one of those categories on an individual basis either. I went through the pocket guide, and found 13 listings for filk (panels and participatory events), 9 for costuming (which includes the masquerade but NOT the prep stuff) and 13 for art (dominated by art show tours and/or AGoH sessions). I counted 9 alt/poly/adult listings total, comprised of four adult, three poly and two alt panels.

Many of the Fannish Lifestyle panels had nothing to do with alternative lifestyles of any kind. While Speed Dating or Flirting panels may not be your cup of tea, they aren't "alternative lifestyle" panels. Your perception simply does not match the reality.

[pierceheart.livejournal.com]

IAWTC, and wanted to go through the event listings and list them here, but decided that was too dickheaded.

[miekec]

... not if someone is trying to use the numbers as a point. Then , I think, it's all the more important to check the figures.
Oh, and ashkes_muse - thanks for doing just that. I agree 200%.

[tonysalieri.livejournal.com]

Also, I suspect that some of what may make some of us more mainstream adults feel uncomfortable when it is expressed or apparent near the youngsters in our charge may very well not even register on those youngsters until it's time to talk about it, whatever it is.

The problem with kids is that they often don't know when they're supposed to be shocked and offended. ;-)

That's a great story to hear about though. I think honesty and openness are the best policy with child rearing. I say, having none of my own yet.

[juniperthewise.livejournal.com]

You said: The problem with kids is that they often don't know when they're supposed to be shocked and offended. ;-)

LOL! What if they should see something without the tinted lenses of judgement modifying their view? What a refreshing idea. *sigh*

[mangosteen]

I was very happy that the zigguratlabs party was family-friendly for the first few hours on Friday night.

I'm glad you and your daughter enjoyed it so much! It was really important to us to include the next generation in some way, and I'm glad it worked out well. Suffice it to say that we have received a very large amount of positive feedback about the family-friendly portion of the Friday night pajama party.

-- Just another member of the zigguratlabs crew. :)

[shadesong.livejournal.com]

Suffice it to say that we have received a very large amount of positive feedback about the family-friendly portion of the Friday night pajama party.

Then it'll happen again next year? *hopeful look* :)

[miekec]

Yes, pretty please? We may actually even make it then. Was sad to have missed it this time.