I think the vitriol level speaks louder about Quackenbush than the reasoning. It does make me wonder what happened to the poor guy that scared and repulsed him so badly. We're right to point out that, for many, Arisia is a vacation: a time to explore, escape, experiment. I've used it as such myself. But Quack is right that moral relativism can blind us to the proper emotional repulsion of bad things.
I've also felt the pressure to accept things I found morally questionable, even hurtful, under the guise of "who are you to question." And I have felt like responding "someone who gives a damn if you treat that person badly, even if they wouldn't object." I've seen WoW eat my friends. I've watched no one care enough to drag them off the computer for fear of "judging them". And I'm with Quack. Screw that cowardice. That's exactly what it is. Cowardice in the guise of acceptance.
I've also enjoyed acting like a slut and roleplaying things that would explode me in ire if anyone were to ask me to live like that. I'm an actress, and I know how to draw a line between a role and me. I also know how shady and dangerous that line can get, even for me. And honestly, that's part of why I play. How else can I explore what doesn't have room in my normal life if not in a special context like art or performance (or con). I'm bigger than what I live. And it ain't always pretty, nice, or fit for the public.
And I've been on the other side of it too. I had a marvelous time playing a Na'vi on a leash led by a marine. But we got some blowback from somebody who saw us tussle and didn't want her kids thinking women should be treated that way. And, while I was disappointed that I couldn't do what I bloody wanted whenever I felt like it, I can't say I blame her. We were in a public lobby, and we didn't have "this is pretend" signage up anywhere. I wouldn't want my little boy having that image burned on his absorbent little brain. Hell, I wouldn't want anyone thinking that was "normal."
I don't want anyone thinking that it was okay to treat me like that without being my trusted acting buddy and having my permission. Because I'd pop you in the mouth if you tried. I don't want to live in a world where I have to pop people in the mouth a lot.
I dunno, guys. I like fantasy as much as the next girl. But I'm disturbed by folks who make it their whole lives. I LIKE IT that things are normal. I like it that we're polite and that there are conventions that protect me. I LIKE having a real life I can escape occasionally. :)
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Date: 2010-01-21 04:56 pm (UTC)I've also felt the pressure to accept things I found morally questionable, even hurtful, under the guise of "who are you to question." And I have felt like responding "someone who gives a damn if you treat that person badly, even if they wouldn't object." I've seen WoW eat my friends. I've watched no one care enough to drag them off the computer for fear of "judging them". And I'm with Quack. Screw that cowardice. That's exactly what it is. Cowardice in the guise of acceptance.
I've also enjoyed acting like a slut and roleplaying things that would explode me in ire if anyone were to ask me to live like that. I'm an actress, and I know how to draw a line between a role and me. I also know how shady and dangerous that line can get, even for me. And honestly, that's part of why I play. How else can I explore what doesn't have room in my normal life if not in a special context like art or performance (or con). I'm bigger than what I live. And it ain't always pretty, nice, or fit for the public.
And I've been on the other side of it too. I had a marvelous time playing a Na'vi on a leash led by a marine. But we got some blowback from somebody who saw us tussle and didn't want her kids thinking women should be treated that way. And, while I was disappointed that I couldn't do what I bloody wanted whenever I felt like it, I can't say I blame her. We were in a public lobby, and we didn't have "this is pretend" signage up anywhere. I wouldn't want my little boy having that image burned on his absorbent little brain. Hell, I wouldn't want anyone thinking that was "normal."
I don't want anyone thinking that it was okay to treat me like that without being my trusted acting buddy and having my permission. Because I'd pop you in the mouth if you tried. I don't want to live in a world where I have to pop people in the mouth a lot.
I dunno, guys. I like fantasy as much as the next girl. But I'm disturbed by folks who make it their whole lives. I LIKE IT that things are normal. I like it that we're polite and that there are conventions that protect me. I LIKE having a real life I can escape occasionally. :)